im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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