My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
