he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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