She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
