he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
