I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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