I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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