your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize