We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
