Non-Jews are for practice
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
