no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
