I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
