nut hugger
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
