it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You can't motorboat a personality
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
