38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
