I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
