exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
