Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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