need another drink. this is the easiest way
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
