I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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