she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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