we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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