so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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