As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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