All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
