It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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