Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
