i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
