I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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