My sheets look like a crime scene.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
