Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize