He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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