My hand turned me down
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
