The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I forget how to act sober
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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