worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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