she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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