U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
false alarm, still single
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
