Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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