Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
