Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
