He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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