I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
