Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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