school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
