I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
