Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We're too hungover to prance.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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