What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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