Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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