I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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