No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
