$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
