he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
