im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize