if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
