Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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