I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
