Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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