This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
