why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
