The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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